All day everyday we are making agreements with our family, boss, co-workers, and friends. We make lunch dates, schedule meetings, plan phone calls, say we will take out the garbage, or bring home takeout. Sometimes we have to break these agreements. Every time we have to break an agreement we have the opportunity to build our self-esteem. By making apologies, rescheduling, or re-committing to a new agreement, we acknowledge our humanness and desire to be honest and trustworthy.
Not only is it important to keep your agreements with others, it is especially important to keep your agreements with your self.
When you break agreements with yourself, it can significantly reduce your self-esteem.
What are these agreements you make with yourself?
- I am going to workout Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for one hour this week.
- I am going to wash the dishes after every meal and before bed.
- I am going to make my bed everyday.
- I am going to eat more vegetables this week.
- I am going to eliminate dairy from my diet this year.
When you make an agreement to yourself similar to the ones above, and you don’t keep it, you let yourself down.
How can I make it up to myself if I break my agreements?
Apologize like you would to anyone else. Say something like this to yourself:
“I am sorry that I broke my agreement. Obviously I was not able to follow through with my intention. I would like to negotiate something that would work better for me. I would like to make a new agreement to eat vegetables at least one meal per day.”
Keep track of the agreements you make to yourself. Start small and with something that will be easy to keep. As you get better, build up to bigger agreements. It is like building muscles, the more you do it the stronger you get.
The more you keep agreements with yourself the higher your self-esteem will be.
My coaching system can help you identify possible reasons that you break agreements with yourself.