Do you ever feel like you are trying so hard and getting nowhere?
In his book You Squared, Price Pritchett tells a poignant true story about a fly burning out it’s short life’s energy in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of a window pane. The fly is headed toward certain death, and yet it keeps trying harder and harder. There is no hope for the fly if it continues down this path. The struggle is part of the trap. The fly is doomed. Yet a few feet away the door is WIDE open, the fly could be free. Why doesn’t the fly try a different approach?
Trying harder is not the solution to achieving more;
in fact it is a BIG part of the problem.
Do you find yourself trying harder and harder yet not getting anywhere? What is happening? Why are you stuck in this seemingly never-ending trap?
Everyone knows the famous saying from Yoda in Star Trek, “DO or DO NOT, there is NO TRY” yet how often do we find ourselves settling for trying and trying harder to no avail.
Trying is a mental activity that goes nowhere. While trying harder you stay in your head, spinning around from thought to thought. Eventually you start feeling frustrated because you are not getting anywhere, not making any advancement and not getting any results.
Next you start to blame the process of trying itself. You say, “this isn’t working; yet I am trying so hard.” You become enslaved to the actual trying that you think will get you what you want. You find yourself angry, self-critical, and placing blame outside of yourself. You lash out in a desperate attempt to figure out why your method of trying isn’t working.
To your credit, you are doing the best you can. You are ‘stuck in a rut’ just like the fly. You don’t know any better than what you are doing. You don’t know any other way.
What is it that keeps you stuck in all that trying?
One word, it’s your paradigm.
Paradigms are a multitude of habitual thought patterns that are constantly running in our minds and in fact unconsciously control everything we do. They can be positive or negative. They can serve you or not. They are a result of genetics, environment, and cultural conditioning that affects us from a very early age.
A paradigm that doesn’t serve you now can be something that you believed to be true, that was not true, and certainly isn’t true now. Yet a part of you still accepts this false belief.
How do you find out what your paradigms are? Listen to what you say to yourself. Listen to the words and phrases that hold you back from taking action. If you took action…what would happen, what would people say or think, how would that affect you?
You might have paradigms about success, failure, being liked, being criticized, not fitting in, and more. Paradigms can stem from self-doubt, a poor self-image or low self-esteem.
In my experience, it is nearly impossible to change your paradigms on your own. I have never seen anyone do it. It is essential to have a good coach and accountability partner to help you start to take control of you from the inside out.
A person who tries will never be successful, never be happy, and
never get what they want!
- First step, take TRY out of your vocabulary, literally cut is out of your dictionary. The word TRY is a word you do not need.
- Second step, take action and keep going! The only people that fail in life are the people that quit. Quitters never win and winners never quit!
- Third step, get a coach, mentor, and accountability partner who you know have experience with paradigms and are skilled at helping you get to the root cause.
- Fourth step, surround yourself with like-minded people that are focused on growing and success in all areas of life.
To learn more about paradigms and what might be holding you back contact Dr. Shelley Nash for a Complimentary 1-1 Discovery Session. Click here for an appointment: Think Into Results or call 480-661-0260.